Day Care or Baby Sitter????

This week I've been contemplating changing from a baby sitter to a daycare. I like that she's in with people I know, but the babysitter schedule is getting on my nerves. Every time we talk I swear it's something different. No Sundays, (okay I can live with that), No Mondays, Tuesday, or Thursday nights, (we work around that), if I take her Saturdays it's more money, (okay I can handle that,) but when I first started to take Kari to her, I worked nights, but for the last 6 months I've been working days. Well now I have to close two nights a week, because we got new district management and that's what they want. Well nights don't work for her anymore. I pay her more money than the other babysitter, and get a cranky, sleep deprived child back at the end of the day. My good for nothing baby's daddy told me that he's not going to take care of her so I have to figure out what I'm going to do on my own.

I love my life some days...

Wic Office

Today, I went to the Wic office to pick up checks for my daughter. There are two very nice ladies that work in there, but there is one lady that thinks she is better than everyone else. For the most part I tell them what they want to hear because they look down on you if you don't do what they want you to do. Kari's pediatrician told me to take Kari to the dentist at age 2, but the wic office lady said she should have been there by the time she turned one. Hum who should I listen to. The Doctor with a degree, or the nutritionist that works for the state. Hum medical school, or a class or two? I don't think it's hard to choose. The doctor wins my vote... The dentist can wait.

Vacation

I'm so excited to have a break from work. Not so much a vacation, but just a break. Can't afford a go away vacation, but Kari and I are going to do things to get to know Central Florida better. We are going to go to Downtown Disney, maybe visit the beach, not that we are going to swim, but still. I need to do more things in this beautiful area. Right now all I do is work and go home, maybe shop, but nothing more. So I'm going to look at the Central Florida visitors brochure and get some ideas. Lets see how we do... more to come.

Stupid People!!!!

I have never been a fan of stupid people. But today takes the cake. My uncle's brother is a habitual drunk, but doesn't see it. He's fallen two times today and wanted me to pick him up. But him being 6ft and me 5ft, I'm not quite big enough. So I had to call 911 twice. The second time he shit his pants. A 58 year old man shit his pants because he can't get himself up off the floor. I thought I was going to throw up because he smelled so bad. I don't know when the last time he has taken a shower.

I'm glad that my daughter was in bed both times that he fell. He'd really hurt her if he fell on her. He almost hit his head on a book shelf. I really wish that his mom would put her foot down, but he rules the roost. He gets what he wants too. When he's drunk he needs to sit his ass down and stay put, or use his cane and or walker. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Tired...

My daughter has so much energy she wears me out. She keeps going and going and going, like the energizer bunny, I just don't know how to keep up some days. After getting up at 5:15 every morning, working 8 hours, the coming home to feed, bathe, and get her ready for bed, it takes a lot out of me everyday. But then she looks at you, gives you kisses and gets in bed, it makes everything worth it.

Dr. Apt

Kari had her 18 month doctor appointment today. She got two shots and didn't even cry one tear. She's a tough little girl. She's doing just fine in her development. The doctor asked if she could talk, then Kari wouldn't stop. She was even trying to jump for the doctor. Which is funny because she has the movements down, but her feet don't leave the floor.

She makes me laugh at everything. She's the sunshine everyday, even when it's raining and we can't go outside. She's content just watching and playing with Dora and her blanket. I wish I didn't have to work, I would stay with her everyday all day long. I defiantly miss her during the day.

My rut...

I wish I could get out of my rut. I do the same things everyday. I need something to change. I want something new. I'm thankful for a job right now. I need something different. I've been working in the Deli for three years. unless something happens where I have new challenges, I think I'm going to scream.

Kari and I live in a beautiful state, and all we do is work or stay home. I want to take weekends off and go do something with her, give her new experiences, new memories for both of us. On our stay home days, we do the same thing. We get up, eat breakfast, watch Dora, play, take nap, maybe go to the store, eat lunch and dinner, take a bath and hit the sack. I just don't know anymore. I remember when I was younger, I'd take road trips on a minute notice, but now with Kari, just going to the store is hard to handle, when she doesn't want to be strapped down. Family and friend want me to visit, but flying across the country with a toddler isn't easy when you are by yourself. I listen and laugh, they obviously don't know her. But I've lived in Florida for 5 years, and they have never once visited me. They didn't even visit me when I was in college. They were suppose to pick me up when I graduated, all I got was oh we're going to rent you a car instead. I guess I can't expect anything else from them. I've never been that important to them.

That was just rambling, oh well. This is my spot and I'm going to write what I want.

Nap Time

For the third day in a row, the babysitter didn't give my daughter a nap. Yea I understand that her car is broken down, but shoot, she's a baby, who needs her sleep. She gets home and is cranky and grumpy and can't do anything without crying up a storm. She started to cry just because she wanted my food, and not hers, (which was the same anyway). Tired baby...

no naps...

I love when the baby sitter keeps Kari up all day then says we were busy. She's cranky and cries at the drop in the hat. She's soooo tired that she can't stop crying. So tonight Kari went to bed about an hour early because she couldn't keep anything together. She didn't even want to get in the bathtub, which she loves. Sometimes I don't know how to get my point across to people. I wish everyone would think like me. I base my days off around her nap time, I get my errands done early, so she has time to sleep.

She's got a runny nose, which I think is because we have the heater on, because its freezing outside. So I even had to give her allergy meds so she could breath while she sleeps. I just want to scream. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really I wish I could stay home with her, but for insurance reasons, can't afford to quit. Maybe I need a job that I could stay home with her. Who knows????

Money

I want daddy to pay for everything that I pay for each week, just once and let him decide if $80 a week is good enough...

Sleep

I wish that Kari's daddy would listen to me when it comes to Kari's bedtime. He had her up late two nights in a row. Today (the second day), she took a 20 min nap, while we were driving in the car. My little girl was soooo tired because of him say she'll go to sleep when she wants too. Its going to be a while before I go back to grandmas house, just because it take so much out of Kari.

My Unique View

I've decided to use this blog to write about my unique views as a single mom. How I deal with the day to day issues.

I was excited to have three days off in a row. Christmas season is over and all the other co-workers are back from vacation, so my days off lined up just right. I decided to take Kari to see her daddy, grandma, uncle and aunt in Crystal River, Florida. (which is the coldest few days of the year). Just packing for this trip was hard, I had to buy her a winter coat, and a couple of sweaters. It got cold here. I moved to Florida because it didn't get this cold but 28 degrees is cold. But that's besides the point. The trip started out hard.

We got to grandma's house around 1pm. We played until dad got home from work. We ate dinner, then dad went outside and hung out with the neighbor, while we sat inside. Why did I drive 2 hours to spend time with him, and he stayed out in the cold. Then Uncle Doug and Aunt Carol were cleaning, and getting ready for bed at 9pm and kept talking to Kari. My daughter didn't go to bed until after 10pm. But they don't understand she gets up at 6 every day and would still be getting up that early, but would be a grump all day long. They wouldn't be dealing with it, because they all go to work. They leave that lovely little girl tired and a pain in the butt, to me. But they sure didn't want us to leave, so they promised to be better. I have to say tonight she went to bed a whole lot earlier. (Yeah) I know they don't spend much time with babies, but they did once have kids, they should know how important schedules for little ones are.

We're headed home tomorrow. We're going to leave a little earlier than we normally do. It's cold outside and I want to get home before it gets dark, and even colder. I want Kari to go to bed on time, since I have to work Friday morning. I'm grateful to spend time with her family, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth all the bother. They don't come and visit us. It's always Kari and I doing the driving, spending the money, and loosing sleep. They stay in the lives and we just butt in for a little while.

Starting Something New

This year I want to try something new. Many friends have blogs, so I'm going to give it a try. I'm working at a grocery store in the deli department. I do the work of an assistant manager, but don't get paid for it. But hopefully will soon get the promised promotion.

My daughter will be 18 months old on January 16th. I can say she's the best thing that I have in my life. Everyday is a new adventure with her. On mornings I have to work, i get her out of bed, change her diaper, and the first thing she says is "Dora". My funny little girl wants to watch Dora at 6am. She doesn't want to get out of bed, but she wants to watch Dora. Some days the only way I can get her to come in the house is the promise of Dora. Sad but it works. For Christmas her daddy bought her a Dora doll that is as big as she is. First thing she does when we get home from the babysitter is get that doll out of her bed. SOOOOOOOOOO cute.

As for her daddy, we are hit and miss. He's a sometimes dad. But he's around sometimes. Kari doesn't call the babysitters husband daddy anymore, but she still prefers "Mr. Bill" over her daddy though.

As for me, I really don't know what I want to do with my life. Right now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Can't afford to quit work to go back to school, but don't make enough money to live without family's help. Don't know what I'm going to do. But this year, I'm making it my goal to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. Stay tuned to find out more. lol